Why women’s clothes should come with instructions

Published June 6th, 2009

Conversations with a friend during a recent shopping excursion:

“What do you think this is?”
“It’s either a vest or some kind of shawl.”
Holding it up to the light and studying it – “What do you wear under it?”
“I guess you could wear a tank top or a tee shirt – well, except it’s kind of short…hmm, maybe it’s some kind of bathing suit cover up.”
“Then wouldn’t it be in the bathing suit section?”

Holding up a hanger draped with voluminous fabric:  “Do you love this or hate it?”
“What is it?”
“It’s a top.”
“What are those things on the bottom?”
Squinting and frowning:  “Oh, I didn’t see those.  Are they, like, tassels?”
“I think Bo Derek wore tassels.”

Holding up a pair of jeans:  “Do you think these would fit me?”
“Only if you were just starting second grade.”

Holding up a long, filmy, thin sweater:  “Do you think I could wear this over jeans?”
“I think it’s too long for jeans.  You would have to wear leggings.”
“Long leggings or short ones?”
“Long.  Or calf-length.  Well, I don’t know.”
“Would you wear heels or sandals or flats?”
“I would wear sandals.  Or flats.  Or maybe heels.”
“You’re not helping.”

“I just found the cutest top and I think you could actually wear it with anything.”
“That is so cute!  How much is it.”
Holding up the $325 price tag.  “Oh.  Never mind.”

“Do you think it’s funny that the men’s section only has shorts and tee shirts and the women’s section takes up 3 entire floors and would take at least 72 hours to traverse?”
“No, I don’t think that’s funny at all.”

Category: Uncategorized | Tags: