It’s time to talk about lotion

Published January 8th, 2009

This time of year, I start my annual journey into the world of lotion.  I liken it to an Aboriginal Walkabout, a rite of passage for anyone living in a cold climate:  how many lotions will I try before I find one that: a)  conquers flaky skin, b) doesn’t have the consistency of wallpaper paste, c) stops my skin from itching, d) doesn’t cost $9 an ounce and e) doesn’t require an hour of ‘settling’ time before I can put on my clothes? So far, I haven’t found the perfect lotion, but I thought it appropriate to post my Ode to Lotion, which I wrote when I lived in Omaha.  It is still relevant in Chicago.

Ode to Lotion

An ocean of lotion
Would not be enough
To soothe my skin’s dryness
Glossing over the rough

There’s nothing so wonderful
Nor so sublime
As a bottle of lotion
And a bottle of wine

O lotion, my lotion
You heavenly potion
More than balm to dry hands
Should you feel the notion

O lotion, my lotion
No lover divine
Could offer my skin
A pleasure so fine

So far, Aveeno is winning the lotion battle.  Curel comes in a close second.  Vaseline ranks as the worst.  Updates to continue.

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  1. eithnne on January 11, 2009

    My favorite this winter – Neutrogena Body Moisturizer, fragrance-free PLEASE! I have half a dozen partially used bottles or tubes of other stuff. I just get bored easily. I’ve always wanted a giant vat of some kind of oil (sesame or almond)that I could just dip myself in after my shower.

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