Things you should never do
Published March 4th, 20091. Drop a large bottle of olive oil on the garage floor in the middle of a snowstorm. You should also not decide to clean it up later and then walk mindlessly through the garage on the way to your car. You will slip and fall and your neighbor, who is walking by with his dogs, will see you and rush to help and then he will slip and fall and you will never be able to look each other in the eye ever again.
2. Scrape flaking paint off your old windows so you can re-paint them. What looks like a small, simple project will really end up taking up an entire, frustrating day and you will end up scrubbing paint off your cat’s face.
3. Give your cat a bath. See above.
4. Decide to have a turkey wrap for lunch and then burritos for dinner, thus ingesting 3 multi-grain tortillas, each containing 15 grams of fiber. Each. If you do, take the next morning off.
5. Forget to put toilet paper in the bathroom. See above.
6. Spend more than 10 minutes at a time on Facebook unless you’re 14 years old and you’re trying to see how many ‘friends’ you can accumulate.
7. Start a list of things you should never do when you can only think of 7 things.
Kim on March 14, 2009
what a hoot! thanks for this one…
#8 – switch cars with your daughter when there are multiple lights lit on her dash – when it is going to rain for three days – when she is in LA – when you need to get several places – when…
new prose piece over at my place – i’d love your reaction