Length of Search: Since Learning to Write
Pen’s Purchased This Month:
Purchase #1: Paper Mate Silhouette® Elite
Financial Cost: $6.99
Emotional Cost: Unfathomable.  Infathomable?  I don’t feel like looking it up

I’m sorry, but every Paper Mate pen I’ve ever tried has kind of sucked.  There’s a leakage problem, first of all, and the fact that, frankly, it’s a cheap ass pen.  Of course, now I have a box of, about, a thousand of them, so I can’t in good conscience throw them away.

Fail.